


Woke Up Feelin' Like I Just Might Run For President

by TheFlirtMeister



Category: Booksmart (2019)
Genre: Alcohol, American Politics, F/M, Fake Marriage, Future Fic, Random Toddler, Yuletide, Yuletide 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27513211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlirtMeister/pseuds/TheFlirtMeister
Summary: “People don’t want a lesbian President.”“I want a lesbian President.” Jared says. “I think it would be cool.”
Relationships: Jared/Molly (Booksmart)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Woke Up Feelin' Like I Just Might Run For President

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Samirant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samirant/gifts).



> Merry Christmas!!
> 
> Do you have to be 35 to run for US President? Yes. Am I ignoring that fact? Also yes.

Jared is half asleep when he gets his first personal text from Molly in almost ten years. He’s lying on a sun lounger beside Gigi’s pool, spots of luminous suns cream dotted in various places over his body. His phone, dying in the violent Los Angeles sun, chirps happily at him.

_I NEED TO TALK TO YOU – MOLLY_

Because sure, they send each other birthday messages, and drunken New Years Eve texts, but they don’t actually talk anymore. Molly is off in congress, and Jared is off doing... well, nothing. Babysitting Gigi’s children? Babysitting Gigi herself?

“Oh my god.” Gigi says from where she’s wrestling inflatable arm bands onto a toddler. “Did Molly just fucking text you?”

“How did you even know that?” Jared asks, opening his phone. “Don’t even answer that question.”

Gigi gives a shrug and releases the toddler into the pool. For a moment Jared thinks the toddler is going to sink straight to the bottom, and then her little head bobs above the water. She giggles and waves her fat fists at the two of them.

“You spend all those lessons on teaching your new-born to scuba dive.” Gigi says wearily. “And it all goes to waste.”

She throws herself down into the seat next to Jared and takes his phone out of his hand. Jared lets her, staring at the space where it was a few seconds ago.

Molly just messaged him. Molly? Love of his life? Amazing kisser? The first girl who ever pegged him?

“Why do you think she wants to talk to me?” Jared asks, more into thin air than at Gigi herself.

Gigi shrugs, scrolling through his phone. “Maybe she’s pregnant.”

“We haven’t spoken in years. Not since university.” Jared blinks. “Woah. When did time go by so fast?”

Does Molly have a boyfriend? Jared tries to remember the last time he went on Facebook and stalked Molly’s profile, but her page is pretty much filled with pictures of her and Amy.

“Time is all an illusion baby doll.” Gigi says. “I’m going to reply for you.”

“Wait-“ Jared says, but Gigi is already typing, her nails clacking against the keyboard. “Saying what?!”

“Name a time and place bitch.” Gigi replies. “I’ve always got time for you Molly.”

She throws the phone back into his face and Jared falls backwards onto the sun lounger. He lifts the phone above his face and reads that Gigi is true to her word. The typing bubble appears from Molly’s end and Jared tries to school the dreamy expression off his face.

“Hey!” Gigi yells at her daughter in the pool. “Stop drinking the chlorinated water! At least get a sippy cup!”

Jared’s phone chirps again, telling him that Molly’s replied, it’s overheating, and it’s on 3% battery.

_MEET ME AT SNORBUCKS TOMORROW AT 11AM. DON’T BRING ANYONE – MOLLY_

“She wants to meet me tomorrow.” Jared says. “She says it’s secret.”

“There’s no secrets in this family.” Gigi says threateningly.

Jared’s phone chirps, takes a screenshot of its own background, and then dies.

*

Jared arrives at Snorbucks at 10am, grabs a seat by the window, and waits like a puppy with abandonment issues. His apartment is a cold and lonely place, with half-assembled Ikea furniture, and a beautiful mural that Gigi’s daughter drew all over the walls.

He spots Molly before she sees him. She’s still got the same long brown hair, hanging loose around her shoulders, but she looks far more comfortable in herself than she ever did at High School. She’s wearing a flowery pantsuit, and when she looks around the room for a seat, Jared’s heart does a little flip.

“Over here!” He calls to her, and Molly glances over at him. Her face falls, and she marches over.

“Is that a fucking face tattoo?” Molly asks once she’s in hearing distance.

“Do you like it?” Jared asks, turning his face to the light. It’s Gigi’s initials in Comic Sans.

“I hate it.” Molly sits down opposite him. “Why the fuck did you get it?”

“All the cool kids have face tattoos.” Jared protests. “Elijah Daniels?”

“That was fake.”

“Chris Brown?”

“Wife Beater.”

“Post Malone?”

“You will never be Post Malone.” Molly threatens. “Which is why I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jared leans back in his chair to seem cool and almost falls off it. “Tell me more.”

“I was going to before you distracted me with your stupid tattoo.” Molly rolls her eyes. “Okay, so you know it’s always been my dream to run for President-“

“You’d make an excellent President.” Jared interrupts. “I’d vote for you.”

“Thanks.” Molly says. “But there’s only been 2 unmarried Presidents in US history-“

“Were they gay?” Jared says. “I feel like they were gay.”

“Grover Cleveland was a widower.” Molly says. “And James Buchannan probably was, but that’s besides the point! Stop interrupting me, god!”

“Okay, okay!” Jared holds up his hands. “I won’t!”

“Good.” Molly takes a deep breath and tucks her hair behind her ears. “The American people don’t trust women, and they don’t trust unmarried women. Therefore, I need someone to marry me.”

Jared blinks. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I need the First Gentleman of The United States.” Molly says slowly. “And you’re my best option.”

“What about Amy?” Jared suggests. “She’d marry you in a heartbeat.”

“People don’t want a lesbian President Jared.”

“I want a lesbian President.” Jared says. “I think it would be cool.”

“You’re not the average voter.” Molly points out. “I want to swing the Republicans over to my side, and they’re not going to support a single girl from LA trying to score the biggest job in history.”

“But you are a single girl trying to score.” Jared says.

“Sometimes I want to throttle you.” Molly tells him.

“Sometimes I want to throttle me too.” Jared agrees with her. “So are you seriously asking me to marry you? Here? In this Snorbucks?”

“I need to vet you first.” Molly says. “But you’re single, and you come from a good family, and I can lie to my grandmother and say you’re Jewish.”

“I’d convert.” Jared says quickly. “If you needed me to.”

“You’d make a terrible Jew.” Molly says. “I watched you make a ham and prawn sandwich once.”

Jared thinks back on that sandwich lovingly and then remembers that he’s just been proposed too.

“I’d give up ham for you.” He says. “And seafood.”

Molly reaches into her bag and pulls out a notepad and pen. “I need to ask you a few questions then. If you’re serious.”

“I’m serious.” Jared crosses both his fingers. “Prommy.”

“Don’t say that, it makes me feel sick.”

“This is like a job interview.” Jared wiggles in his seat.

“Yeah, and you’ve fucked your first impression.” Molly says. “First things first. Are you definitely single?”

“Single as a pringle baby.” Jared runs a hand through his hair and winks.

“I don’t even know what that means, but okay.” Molly ticks something off her list. “Number two, do you have a job?”

“Now what exactly do you mean by job?”

Molly looks up at him. “It’s not that hard of a fucking question Jared?”

“I mean,” Jared leans forward. “I own a lot of apps?”

“On your phone, or as a company manager?”

“There’s a difference?”

Molly drops her head onto the table and thumps it three times against the wood. Jared looks around nervously, but only one person has noticed that Molly is having a mental breakdown. They pull a sympathetic face, and Jared gives them a thumbs up.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Molly groans.

“Many things.” Jared offers helpfully.

“Just answer the question. Do you have a job?”

“I’ve bankrupted a lot of companies?”

“That’s not a job Jared.”

“Sometimes I work for my Dad?” Jared says. “I mean, I don’t do anything, but I get paid?”

“God, I hate this country.” Molly says. “Eat the rich.”

She raises her head and looks at him. “What have you even done since High School?”

“I’m still friends with Gigi.” Jared says. “And I have a lot of failed start-ups.”

“Somehow that explains so much. You literally haven’t changed since you were 18.” Molly says and looks down at her notes. “But you are literally my only hope.”

“Does that mean I get the job?” Jared asks hopefully.

“You’re a strong contender.” Molly says. “But we might have to settle for the United State’s first women loving women President.”

“Gay rights!” Jared says enthusiastically and raises his fist in solidarity.

Molly shakes her head in despair.

*

Brunch turns into lunch which turns to dinner which turns to Molly back in Jared’s apartment drinking his Crystal Head vodka. She’s unbuttoned the top buttons on her pantsuit and kicked off her heels, which gives the impression of her being more drunk than she actually is.

“I can’t believe you’re still here.” She says. “In fucking Los Angeles.”

“Where else would I be?” Jared asks, sitting beside her.

“I don’t know.” Molly shrugs. “I mean, with Gigi obviously. But I thought you would have ended up in New York, or another country- or space!”

Jared laughs. “Gigi in space? She’d get bored and leave the rocket.”

“She would!” Molly laughs and snorts at the same time. “She’d just open the door and walk out.”

Jared laughs, but still feels a little guilty. “I knew that you’d always leave. End up in Washington.”

“DC baby.” Molly waves a triumphant hand. “Next stop, the White House.”

“You should make Amy your Vice President.” Jared says.

“She doesn’t want to go into politics.” Molly says. “She’s more hands-on. She likes.... saving the rainforest and all that jazz.”

“Hell yeah.” Jared says. “Recycling.”

Molly snorts again. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I know.” Jared says cheerfully.

Molly rubs her eyes and then looks at him. “Why did you even agree to meet me? We haven’t spoken in years.”

“I still consider you my friend.” Jared says. “We’ve been friends since middle school.”

“We didn’t even like each other back then.”

“I’ve always liked you.” Jared says truthfully, “Even when you were mean, and rude, and stuck up.”

“I don’t know why.” Molly runs a hand through her hair. “I was an asshole. To you, to Amy, to Gigi. I was a cunt.”

“You were a teenage girl.” Jared points out. “I think you’re allowed to be an asshole when the whole world is against you.”

“Oh my god when did you turn into a feminist?!” Molly asks.

“I read a lot of books!” Jared protests. “You kept lecturing me about radical feminism and Germaine Greer so I read up!”

“And?” Molly asks. “What did you think?”

Jared clears his throat. “Feminism good. Men bad. Greer, transphobic.”

Molly looks at him for a moment and then giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. Jared starts laughing too, and then they’re pressed up against each other, completely in hysterics.

“It’s like - _babies first feminist_.” Molly manages to say between laughs. “Jared you are so... So... Ughh!”

She reaches out with her hands and ruffles his hair, clearly not knowing what to do. Jared leans into the touch and grins back at her dopily.

“I take it back.” Molly says. “You’ve changed since you were 18.”

“I have?” Jared asks.

“Or maybe...” Molly bites her lip. “Maybe you’ve always been kind and generous. And I was too stupid to see it.”

“You’ve never been stupid.”

“Stupid with people.”

“And now you’re clever with people.” Jared says.

“You hardly know me.”

“I watch you on tv.” Jared says. “Your speeches and stuff. I know that you’re a good person. You want things to be better.”

“I just want to make everything okay.” Molly finds Jared’s hand and squeezes it so tight that Jared’s knuckles turn white. “I want Amy to always be okay.”

“I know.” Jared says, and presses his forehead against hers.

They stay like that for a while, breathing in tandem with each other. Molly’s eyes are wet, and Jared pretends not to notice.

“Does this mean I can be your First Gentleman?” Jared asks, and Molly nods her head, smiles.

“You’ll always be my First Gentleman.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and Molly will win the election.


End file.
